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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

UPDATED -- Praying for Topher!

So ... after talking with Topher, and talking to his mother, DHS called me to confirm the Friday decision.  Topher is to remain home with me.  He is to call his mother, with supervision, and if she pressures him to come home we are to call DHS.  The official desire is for long-term reunification.  I would not place money on that, as I don't think she has that much self control.  I will be getting him into counseling, and we will go from there.

Thanks for all your prayers.  As I said Friday, I couldn't have asked for a better outcome.

Original post follows:

So, it turns out that what the DHS worker told me on Friday was a bit premature.  Topher's mother and sister are throwing a fit (still, it seems, largely about the money), and so there is going to be a more thorough investigation.  While I doubt the outcome will change, it's still going to be hard on everyone.  There is currently no talk of a home visit, but the worker is going to interview Topher during school today.

So ... at some point during the next several hours my boy is going to be taken out of class and asked to tell a stranger everything he can about why he shouldn't go home.  He says "No problem, it's easier than you think", but I don't believe him.  It's going to be hard on my fragile, emotionally crushed young man.  I can't even be there to hold his hand.  He's going to have to expose all his hurts, all his fears, and all the hopes he's built up over the last 6 weeks I've had him, and he's going to have to do it on his own.  I fear I'll be picking up the pieces from this for some time to come.

Please pray ... pray hard ... that it goes well for us.  That it doesn't hurt him too much, and that he can stay where he's safe.  Pray for survival and more for my boy.  Pray for a life he can be happy in and proud of.

Thanks!

        aka: goofdad

9 comments:

This Daddy said...

With all that he has gone through, I bet he will do great. And the better he does, you will feel better. Stay strong man.

Dellilah said...

Why would they do that during the middle of a school day instead of after school? I'm sure Topher will do good, I'll be thinking about you guys.

goofdad said...

Easy Answer: If they do it in the middle of school, there's less chance of parental interference ...

Dellilah said...

Wow, that was a quicker response from them than I expected. Thank god they decided the right thing and let him stay with your family.

Mark said...

The Unpredictability of Oregon DHS, gotta love it, quick on one case slow another. More credit goes to the worker. nuff said....

Doug hang in there, you know this is all needed to achieve what is needed. I understand what the long term goal is and that is just for now, trust me, those goals change as the investigate more, you just advocate and be vocal to DHS and all will work out. Not like you are going to prison for anything right??
Praying Hard my friend.

This Daddy said...

See there you go. Dont be negative

goofdad said...

@Mark ... no, no prison. Just got the email back from DHS saying they did a background check on me and I'll pass as a foster parent when they have to get legal on his mother's ass ... which we all believe is coming.

@Daddy ... got a case of pot and kettle syndrome? You're never negative on your blog, right? LOL!

This was just as scary experience for all of us ... and hopefully the worst is over. I HATE inviting CPS/DHS into my life!

Eric said...

Will do my friend.

Erika said...

Congrats!!! I am so happpy for you guys!! Welcome Home Topher!!