Despite the title, this is not a Not Me Monday post. Mostly ...
Like many of us, I've been reading the posts on MckMama's blog, on We Are That Family, and in other places about Compassion International's Kenya trip. I freely admit to crying when appropriate, and sometimes when not. It scares me that people in today's world live in such poverty when it takes so little from us to make it better.
It hurts me that these children are living in such poverty. It hurts me that I'm cynical, and see this (at least in part) as all of us being manipulated to try and raise money for a charity. It really hurts me that I believe it's the only way to get these people the help they need, because most of us are too HUA to pay attention to the poverty around us, let alone the poverty half way around the world!
For the record: My extended family does sponsor children in 3rd world countries. My immediate family sponsors, well, locally. We give of our time and treasure to the church, and do so willingly and with a happy heart.
And yet, I do feel guilty for not doing more. It hurts that what I spend on gas in two days to get back and forth to work could provide for these kids for a month. But if I didn't spend the money on gas, I wouldn't be able to do the good works I do. It hurts to think that I'm considering renting a cello for Topher rather than sponsor a kid in Kenya. But if I didn't invest in Topher like he was one of my own, I wouldn't be raising the next generation to continue the good works (neither Topher for being resuced, nor setting a good example for my other children).
I've prayed a lot over the last week (actualy, over the last month and more), and if I wasn't already reaching out so hard my heart bled at home I would find a way to sponsor a child in Kenya.
I do feel guilty, even though I know my whole family is investing all their energy and spare money to keep Topher safe and get his family to a situation where he can safely go home. I do feel guilty every time I do something nice for my kids, every time I start my car. Currently, we aren't able to commit to doing more, but it's out there. And we will be sitting down to consider it again soon.
In the meantime there's something I can do: If you're reading this and you're not giving all you can, then visit one of the blogs linked above and sponsor a child in Kenya. It's really not that much, and you can make a BIG difference.
Those other blogs define survival in a way I can't even touch ... again ... go ... follow the links ... they need all the help you can give!