Well, the Honeymoon is OVER!

Having spent the last 24ish hours fighting with Topher, I'd have to say that the "honeymoon" period is done.

A sign of things to come?

So ... Topher has been having headaches.  Bad ones.  We took him to the doctor week before last and the doctor said they are tension headaches, and that we should "reduce the amount of stress in his life" ...

Let's see now ... he's been torn from the family he knows, even if it wasn't safe.  He went from a familiar family of 4 to a chaotic, strange household of 11.  He's had to learn new rules, figure out new ways of living, try new foods and new experiences, and overall change his life in almost every respect.

It's been a change for the better ... incredibly so at times, and he even agrees with that ... but stressful?

DUH!

Topher turns 14!

So, this year Topher's birthday fell on Easter Sunday.  That made it a BIG DAY for him.  Check out the smile, and the story of the day comes after the break.

It's only hair, right?

He was celebrating being home.

Nothing more ... this is just a Wordless Wednesday ;-)

UPDATED -- Praying for Topher!

So ... after talking with Topher, and talking to his mother, DHS called me to confirm the Friday decision.  Topher is to remain home with me.  He is to call his mother, with supervision, and if she pressures him to come home we are to call DHS.  The official desire is for long-term reunification.  I would not place money on that, as I don't think she has that much self control.  I will be getting him into counseling, and we will go from there.

Thanks for all your prayers.  As I said Friday, I couldn't have asked for a better outcome.

Original post follows:

The Prodigal Son

Last Sunday, I taught, and was taught, a lesson about the Prodigal Son.  If you don’t already know the biblical version, go see it here.  My version starts out differently, because he wasn’t originally my son, so I didn’t hand him 1/2 (or even 1/10) of my fortune.  Instead, he was born into a bad situation.  I guess that doesn’t make him “prodigal” by the definition of the word.  But that’s OK, because the lesson is the same.

I hope Grandpa was right!

My grandfather used to say: Trouble comes in threes.  If that’s true, yesterday was my perfect trifecta, as we handled each problem in turn, and came out the other side!

Victories

So … this week has been hard for Topher.  It’s been a rough week emotionally, and he’s struggling with a lot of things all at once.  Yesterday (why does this always seem to happen on Tuesdays?) it got to him, and he had a difficult evening.  Read on to share in his victories.

On Lenten Promises and Broken Hearts …

I said, in my post about Ash Wednesday, that Topher dropped a bomb on me and that I couldn't blog about it.  Today, he gave me permission to drop it on my readers.  This morning he said I should let it out, that he no longer wants to hide, that getting things out in the open is the only way to heal.
 
Actually, after last night (described below), I texted him this morning asking if I could blog about it ... he texted back "Idc" ... those three letters mean a lot, though.
 
What follows is what broke my heart.  You've been warned.

Brothers are forever ...

Sadly, this is not Topher's first time around the block when it comes to being fostered.  He's told me several times about his former foster family, where he lived for a year about 8 years ago.  He tells stories about his foster-parents and their kids often.  It worries me sometimes that his favorite memories are about his foster family.  I've never heard a cute story or a fun story about living with his mom.  So, with nothing but a picture of his foster-brother, a misspelled name, and a phone number, I set out to find these people who had made such a difference in my son's life.

You never forget your first

With fostering, the firsts have a tendancy to hit you fast ... and hard.  I just thought I'd share a few of Topher's with everyone:

DFS ... Welcome to the Fail Boat!

Topher's mom is an addict.  In addition, she's been diagnosed with schizophrenia.  If that wasn't enough, she's got cancer.  Don't get me wrong ... I'm not going to make any excuses for her.  Rather than dealing with her problems she used illegal drugs to cope.  I have big problems with the choices she made and with the danger she put her children in.  I'm just setting the stage.

Why did it have to be "Pops"?

This whole thing with Topher started to get serious a couple weeks back.  I had been the kinda-sorta father figure in his life for some time, but it was starting to look like it was going to turn into more than that.  I explained to him that we had a name problem.

Topher is actually Donald Christopher.  Up until recently, he has always gone by Chris.  He hates the name Donald, as kids have teased him about being Ronald Mc- ever since he was little.  But, as I explained to him, "Chris" around my house was taken.  By my wife.  About the only person more important to me than my kids.  End.  Of.  Story.

Ikea's got nothing on Teenagers, Tools, and Two-by-Fours

I learned from my Grandpa that when you do something yourself, you get more satisfaction out of it than when you just buy it. Well, this weekend we decided to put that to the test by building beds. It all started when the decision was made for Topher to move in with us (which also happened this weekend...look for more about that later). That left us a bed short. Add to that the fact that my bed had mostly fallen apart, and we had our weekend projects cut out for us.

Topher

If you've been following along, by now you know that Topher is my newest kid.  I just thought I'd share part of how I came to love a kid so much that I'd be willing to become a foster parent.  One day, maybe, I'll share how he came to be in the situation he's in ... but I have to come to peace with it first, and my lack of peace is at least part of why I'm here blogging.

Topher came into my life because of my shop.  About 18 months ago, I opened a LAN Gaming Center in downtown Lebanon.  Currently we have XBox 360's, a Wii, a Pool Table, and 10 gaming PC's.  Everything (except the pool table) is connected to the internet, and teens and tweens can come in to the shop and for $3/hr can play whatever they like (with their parent's permission, of course).