Tuesday, February 28, 2012

With friends like these, who is needing enemas …

So, I wrote almost two years ago, about my son Adam having Ulcerative Colitis.  I thought I’d follow up on that, since there has been actual progress, and recently.

Here’s the good news:
  • I had said that the doctor could double the dosage on his meds.  He did, and it worked (for now).  Adam has gone almost two years without a major flare up, and the scary surgery is only a distant option at this point.  We know, intellectually, that eventually he’ll build up a resistance to the meds, but were hopeful that one of the new meds that are on the horizon will pan out by then and he’ll keep that surgery distant.
  • I had said the meds were expensive, and I meant it: $5000 each injection (he gets one every other month).  Fortunately, my insurance still covers him, and thus our cost is only 10% ($500, for those who are now counting on their fingers).  That’s still a chunk of change.  He just got approved for an aid program through the drug company that will pay for his next 6 injections!  Always nice when someone puts $3000 in your pocket!
  • I said then that we were hiring lawyers to sue for disability.  They won!  He gets back pay to 2010 (which will help pay off some medical bills), and gets a monthly check for the foreseeable future.  This will make finding a job and taking himself off of my insurance something that is actually possible for him to do.
  • Since the meds are working, he’s been able to get a job (even in this economy)!  He’s pushing carts part-time, but it’s a start!
The last three points (the job, the disability, and the aid program) all happened within a month of each other.  In the month of February he’s gone from scared about the future to looking forward to it.  It’s been an incredibly change to watch, and I’m immensely proud of him.

Then he told his friends.  Now the bad news:

One of his friends … the one who was GIVEN a two story house by his dad.  The one who gets monthly checks from his parents because they worry about him.  The one who has never held down a job in his life, owns two cars, and can spend his parent’s money like water and they don’t complain.  THAT friend complained that it was unfair that Adam receives disability because that means that HIS dad’s taxes are paying for Adam’s quality of life (and I quote) “just because he craps too much” …

Then some of his other friends, following the lead of the first friend (because he can spend money like water on them, so they absolutely DON’T want to lose HIM as a friend), have decided Adam isn’t worthy and have done more than merely stop hanging out: they harass him when they see him in town, they try (so far unsuccessfully) to get him in trouble at work, etc.

These are people that he’s been friends with for over 11 years … more than half his life.  I just can’t understand treating someone that way.

The family has rallied around him, and supported him through this.  They’ve been wonderful, and I couldn’t have asked for more.  I’m just bummed that they had to.  He got good news.  He got awesome, excellent, thanks be to God type good news.  And instead of it being a time to rejoice, it’s become a somber time and a time of broken hearts.

How can people survive being that mean?

        aka: goofdad

PS: The title is a reference to one of my favorite movies.  Kudos if you know the movie.  Double Kudos if you caught that it’s actually a pun on the subject of Ulcerative Colitis ;-)

1 comment:

Alyson Young said...

I hope I'm not the only one who recognized the movie. But you know I did. I grew up with ya.